Friday, November 21, 2003
The Murder of Dernell Stenson
David Pinto of Baseball Musings has been tracking the ongoing revelations surrounding the killing of Cincinnati Reds outfielder Dernell Stenson. They appear even more disturbing than you would have imagined. Scroll through Pinto's site to stay abreast - not to be a macabre voyeur, but to appreciate the full extent of this tragedy.
Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Quicker
|Cesar Izturis 2003 Statistic||Date in 2003 Alex Rodriguez Achieved Said Statistic|
|158 games||September 23|
|558 at-bats||September 14|
|47 runs||June 18|
|140 hits||August 14|
|21 doubles||July 17|
|6 triples||August 19|
|1 home run||March 30|
|40 RBI||June 18|
|25 walks||May 31|
|70 strikeouts||July 2|
|10 stolen bases||July 27|
|5 caught stealing||3 caught stealing|
|.251 batting average||.298 batting average|
|.282 on-base percentage||.396 on-base percentage|
|.315 slugging percentage||.600 slugging percentage|
|.597 OPS||.995 OPS|
The Dodgers re-officialized their 40-man roster Thursday, but this event is not of much significance.
The deadline to watch is December 7 - the last day the Dodgers can offer salary arbitration to their eligibles, notably Adrian Beltre. Any eligible player that the team does not offer arbitration cannot be signed by the Dodgers until May 1, essentially rendering that player gone.
Players who are offered salary arbitration have until December 19 to decide if they want to accept. If they do not accept, they can still negotiate with their existing team through January 8.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Throw the Ball Better
There are many who watched Adrian Beltre this year who believe that he is the best-fielding third baseman in the game. But with Beltre's 19 errors in 2003, it's a challenge to make the case.
How can such a good-looking player rack up so many miscues? Follow-through.
Of Beltre's 19 errors, 12 came on throws. In fact, Four of Beltre's 12 throwing errors came on plays in which the batter was awarded an infield single, but took second on a desperate throw by Beltre.
If Beltre can make his arm more consistent - and to be sure, he completes the spectacular pass on the run much more than he doesn't - he can knock his errors down to single digits.
In general, the 2003 Dodgers could have used more target practice. Just over half of Dodger errors this year came on throws. If you include the seven dropped throws, the total is 56 percent.
What follows is a chart detailing each of the Dodgers 119 errors in 2003: who made them, how they made them, and when they made them. Following the chart, you'll find a few more random Dodger errata.
|Pos.||Player||Total Errors||Grounders||Flies||Throwing||Dropped Throws|
|C||Lo Duca||15||--||--||4/1, 4/4, 4/7, 4/19, 4/23, 5/7, 5/13, 5/16, 5/20, 5/30, 6/15, 7/29, 9/3, 9/24||9/1|
|C||Ross||4||--||7/5||7/17, 7/23, 8/2||--|
|1B||McGriff||8||5/2, 5/10, 6/13||6/5||4/6, 6/12||5/27, 5/28|
|2B||Cora||15||4/6, 4/18, 5/22, 5/31, 9/7, 9/10, 9/19||5/22||4/18, 5/2, 6/28, 6/29, 8/20, 8/26, 9/28||--|
|3B||Beltre||19||4/2, 5/20, 6/21, 7/17, 7/22, 7/24, 9/11||--||4/3, 4/6, 4/10, 5/12, 5/22, 5/29, 7/2, 7/5, 7/24, 8/22, 8/31, 9/28||--|
|SS||Izturis||16||4/18, 5/10, 6/14, 6/15, 7/10, 9/5, 9/6, 9/14, 9/19, 9/27||--||4/7, 7/26, 8/3, 8/14, 9/7||7/3|
|CF||Roberts||5||4/23, 8/2, 8/9||4/22||8/13||--|
|RF||Green||5||--||4/7||7/8, 8/24, 9/5, 9/27||--|
|P||Brown||3||--||--||7/19, 7/30, 8/24||--|
- Paul Lo Duca made 10 throwing errors in the first two months, four in the last four months. Of course, he played some outfield and first base in the summer.
- Alex Cora did not mishandle a ground ball in June, July and August.
- Cesar Izturis made five errors on ground balls in September, the same amount he had made in the previous five months.
- Dodger outfielders dropped only three fly balls, but mishandled 12 balls on the ground. They made four errors on outfielder grounders between May 28-30.
- Shawn Green had four of the eight throwing errors by Dodger outfielders.
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Koufax! Koufax! Koufax!The all-time Dodger Cy Young Award winner, as voted by 22 Dodger Thoughts readers from a pool of nine Dodger Cy Young award winners + 1 guy from 1916, is:
and his 1966 season.
Coming in second: Sandy Koufax (1965). Coming in third: Sandy Koufax (1963).
Koufax '66 (27-9, 1.73 ERA, 190 ERA+, 323 IP, 241 H, 19 HR, 77 BB, 317 K) won in a landslide, with 13 first-place votes out of 22. Koufax '66 was left off seven ballots entirely, but at least one Sandy Koufax season was selected on 21 of 22 ballots.
Five voters listed Koufax in all three spots on their ballot, three in the eventual order of finish.
The one and only race in this vote was for third place, to see if Orel Hershiser (1988) could sneak in to prevent the Koufax sweep. One vote would have changed things, but Koufax '63 edged Hershiser by two points.
Eric Gagne rode the recent memories of his 2003 season and his incredible statistics out of the bullpen to a fifth-place finish, while Don Drysdale (1962) grabbed sixth place by virtue of coming away with the remaining first-place vote.
Rube Marquard (1916) - born too early for the Cy Young award - got a second-place and a third-place vote, perhaps by virtue of the third-best ERA+ in the competition, to finish seventh, while Fernando Valenzuela (1981) grabbed a single vote to finish eighth. Mike Marshall (1974) and Don Newcombe (1956) ran out of time before they got any support.
Below are the standings - five points for a first-place vote, three points for a second-place vote, and one point for a third-place vote.
Some voters supplied great or at least revelatory comments with their votes. In the spirit of a secret ballot (secret to everyone else, anyway), I am running the comments without attribution. However, if you would like your name cited with your comment, just e-mail me.
1. Sandy Koufax 1965 - I was six years old, and I still remember it like it was yesterday! The Dodgers had absolutely no offense that year, and it didn't matter if Koufax was on the mound! (With the exception of Game 1 of the Series! He got hammered pretty hard)
2. Eric Gagne 2003 - I had mixed feelings about this one, until I saw his ERA, and the K's! I don't can't ever recall in my 44 years ever hearing of a pitcher more dominant. He literally walks in and the game is over!
3. Big D - Don Drysdale 1962 - I was too young, but this is my earliest memory of being a Dodger fan. He had a great season that year, and while the numbers don't look as impressive as Koufax's three Cys, I don't think anyone say he wasn't the most feared pitcher.
I think Sandy Koufax has to be the clear winner in your poll; the only question is which season. His combination of innings, ERA+, and strikeouts is simply unbeatable in this field (to say nothing in the rest of baseball history). I'll go with '66 because of the highest ERA+ and also because the guy's arm was about to fall off. My top 3 would be:
Koufax 65 (mmmm, strikeouts)
1st place - Koufax 1966
2nd place - Hershiser 1988
3rd place - Koufax 1965
Koufax 1965 should probably be ahead of Orel's performance in the magical year of '88. But I was not alive to witness Koufax, so I do show a little bias toward the Bulldog. I figure if real baseball writers can show their prejudice and ignorance while voting for the AL ROY, I can too.
1. Koufax of 1966
2. Koufax of 1965
3. Hershiser - sentimental choice, plus an awesome ERA for the juiced-ball era.
Here's my ballot:
1. Koufax '66
2. Koufax '65
3. Koufax '63
I tried to find a place in there for Marshall, but I just couldn't. And Hershiser's 1988 was probably my favorite Dodger season ever (I was 12), but in the end Koufax's peak was tough to top. It's too bad we were deprived of the chance to vote on any of Pedro Martinez's Cy Youngs!
1. Don Drysdale
2. Eric Gagne
3. Fernando Valenzuela
It was really hard for me to pick between #2 and #3. Gagne is pitching in an era where offense is tremendous, and Fernando and Drysdale didn't necessarily have to face off against someone like Barry Bonds. Gagne has shown sheer dominance all season. Drysdale is probably my favorite pitcher because of how he could just dominate games from top to bottom.
I only voted for Koufax once, out of fairness. But you could make an argument that he should occupy all three spots.
1. Koufax - 1966
2. Hershisher - 1988
3. Gagne - 2003
Interesting topic, well presented.
Here's my ballot:
1. Koufax '65. Dominating season in as tight a pennant race any Dodger squad has survived. His perfect game on Sept. 9 sparked the Dodgers to a season-ending 16-4 run, with Sandy picking up 5 victories. Two stellar WS wins. (Yes, I'm taking postseason play into account - unlike the guidelines for the real CYA voting.)
2. Hershiser '88. Season really didn't pick up steam until the end, with the scoreless streak. (Come to think of it, LA's WS drive never had a distinctive "kick." Wins by month: 13, 14, 17, 16, 17, 16, 1.) What followed is a postseason of such brilliance we may never see again: 1.05 ERA in 42-2/3 innings! Getouttahere! 3-0 with a save! (That late-night hairball at Shea was NUTS to watch.) Three CGs in 5 starts. Stunning.
3. Gagne '03. I have never seen batters so baffled as they were this year against him. I love pitchers with dead-fish changes - and his goes 85 mpfh! (I'm a little torn about favorably comparing 80-plus innings of relief vs. 220-plus innings as a starter. Then again, he also pitched 77 games as compared to a typical ace starter's 35 or so - more than double the number of games that he could directly influence.)
Here's how other reference points would vote:
Bill James Win Shares: Koufax '66 (35 win shares), Koufax '65 (33), Koufax '63 (32), Newcombe '56 (27), Hershiser '88/Gagne '03 (25), Drysdale '62 (24), Marshall '74 (21), Marquard '16 (20 - Big Jeff Feffer had 32!) and Valenzuela '81 (17).
Neyer's lineups book has Koufax's 1966 season as the top by a starting pitcher, adding that the only contender is Dazzy Vance's 1924 campaign (28 wins, 262 Ks - 36 win shares). Top relief season is Marshall's, but the book was published earlier this year, before Gagne's feats.
#1 Sandy Koufax, 1963...I believe he threw 20 complete games that year? If true, that's sick!!! Where have all the tough-ass pitchers gone?
#2 Sandy Koufax, 1965...OK, this is probably the real first place. 383 K's... When the Dodgers took the field this year behind Sandy, the common saying became "We're gonna kick someone's ass tonight."
p.s. God Bless the 1965 World Champion Los Angeles Dodgers!!!
#3 Orel Hershiser, 1988...The Streak, the magic...I'm sentimental about this one. I sat behing the Dodgers dugout one glorious afternoon and watched Orel throw a 2-0 shutout during The Streak.
p.s. I could've probably put Fernando here or Sandy, 1966
Since I'm feeling like Estragon in a production of "Waiting For McCourt," let's vote.
1. Koufax 1966
2. Koufax 1963
3. Marquard 1916
You came up with a great idea on your all-time Dodgers Cy Young poll. Here are my top three...
3. Sandy Koufax, 1965
2. Sandy Koufax, 1963
1. Sandy Koufax, 1966
Three of the only five seasons with 150+ adjusted ERAs and the only three with 300+ IP. Quality and quantity. Combined. What else could one want?
I may have inserted Dazzy Vance's season in 1924 among the top three had it been an option. He was the MVP that year, having beaten out Rogers Hornsby (who only happened to hit .424 that year - the highest single-season average in modern N.L. history - and also lead the league in hits, walks, runs, doubles, total bases, OBP, SLG, OPS, OPS+, Total Average, and runs created). Vance had a historic season of his own, winning not only the MVP but also the Triple Crown of pitching (W, K, ERA) plus he led the league in CG and most rate stats (including H/IP, K/IP, K/BB, and WHIP). To show you Vance's dominance, he struck out 262 batters that year and the next best in the MAJORS was the one and only Walter Johnson with 158.
I thought about this all weekend and I came up with this ballot:
1) Sandy Koufax 1966
2) Sandy Koufax 1963
3) Sandy Koufax 1965
In my mind those three seasons are head and shoulders above the other candidates (because of production or in Gagne’s case number of innings). For what it is worth, I would put Gagne 4th and Hershiser 5th.
Abercrombie & Stitch
Reggie Abercrombie, the Dodger minor league whom I wrote about less than a month ago, has torn his anterior cruciate ligament, according to Ken Gurnick of MLB.com.
As has been discussed, Abercrombie is a tools player who is a candidate for becoming a pitcher if his career as a hitter doesn't pan out. However, the Dodgers do not appear ready to give up on Reggie roaming the outfield, even with his surgery.
From Gurnick's article:
With Double-A Jacksonville in 2003, Abercrombie hit .261 with 54 RBIs and team-highs in homers (15) and stolen bases (28). He also struck out 164 times in 448 at-bats, but showed late-season improvement in his pitch selection, according to Matt Slater, director of professional scouting.
According to Slater, Dr. Frank Jobe told the club that Abercrombie's running speed might actually increase with the reconstructed knee in much the same way some pitchers can throw faster after undergoing Tommy John elbow reconstruction.
Of course, speed hasn't been Abercrombie's problem. But whatever the future holds, I'm wishing him the best.
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Mildly Cool and Amusing Notes
Rob Neyer writes:
Yes, OPS really is on the backs of Topps baseball cards, and I'm as surprised as you are. I don't know exactly what it means, but I do know you can't get much more mainstream than Topps. I also know that some of the purists, at both ends of the analytical spectrum, will recoil in horror at the thought of OPS appearing so institutionally. The Luddites hate OPS because Mel Allen didn't talk about it in the 1950s, and the Young Turks think OPS is just horribly simplistic.
Lee Sinins writes:
I say pshaw. The back of a baseball card isn't a place for serious analysis. It's a place for a quick glance, a shorthand description of a player's skills. So if I had to pick just one statistic for the back of a card, it would be this one.
Tigers MGR Alan Trammell says the team might pursue free agent SS Miguel Tejada.
The Detroit Free Press calls it a "longshot" that they can sign him, while this news reminds me of that episode of Friends where everyone had a list of 5 celebrities they would be allowed to sleep with, without it being considered cheating.
I've made the rounds at the usual Internet honkytonks to see what expectations are for Kazuo Matsui, the Japanese shortstop who has announced he is coming to the United States next season.
Several forecasts projected Matsui to post an OPS in the neighborhood of .800 - not accounting for the park factor of the major league park he ends up in. That would be a significant but not catastropic drop from the .917 OPS he posted in Japan at age 27 in 2003.
Shortstops with OPS at .800 or above in 2003: Alex Rodriguez (.995), Edgar Renteria (.874), Nomar Garciaparra (.870), Derek Jeter (.844), Orlando Cabrera (.807), Miguel Tejada (.807).
The Raindrops concludes that based on the contracts given to Ichiro Suzuki and Hideki Matsui, Kaz Matsui will command something in the three-year, $5 million per year range. Apparently, teams do not need to additionally factor in the fee a major league team must pay for the right to negotiate with a Japanese player in Matsui's class, because Matsui is a true free agent. This last part was news to me.
I think Matsui is worth $5 million per year, but I'm going to stick to my overriding approach to the 2003 offseason. All other transactions must fall in line behind the importance of finding a quality power-hitting outfielder. If money spent on Matsui hinders the Dodgers in that quest, then it is money dubiously spent.
Kim Ng Interviewed on Baseball Prospectus
This interview of Kim Ng on BP's premium service would have been interesting even before the Bill Singer incident, which is good, because the interview by Jonah Keri was conducted before the Bill Singer incident and does not reference the Bill Singer incident. Which is just fine by me.
The Dodger vice president and assistant general manager remains a bit of mystery in Los Angeles - I'm sure there are many of you out there who have never heard her speak or even read a quote from her. I've only heard her voice once myself. So it's nice to get a little insight into her views.
Ng tells Keri that there are different ways to build a club and "you can't go in there and tear a team apart." Nevertheless, you can see from the quote below that the condition of the Dodger middle infield must conflict Ng as it does many of the team's fans.
I can say that I am a proponent of being strong up the middle offensively. It's something I saw with the Yankees having such great success, something I believe in. How you build a team also depends on the ballpark. In Dodger Stadium it's difficult to hit home runs, so you have to adjust to that. The people in place, ballpark factors, there's a wide variety of factors that differ with each organization.
Though the interview is full of insight, there were a couple of places where I would have liked to have learned more about Ng. At one point, she says:
Sometimes people think stats don't always tell the truth, and that's true. There are some players where stats don't do them justice. You'll see a player who has great instincts, who does the little things that don't show up in box scores like taking the extra base. I think it is important for people doing arbitration to have a feel for what players can do.
I wouldn't disagree with any of the above sentiments, but I would want to know how often Ng thinks that stats don't do a player justice, and how much value she assigns "the little things."
Few proponents of statistics want to use them in place of on-field observation - they want to use one to compliment the other. So it's good that Ng is keeping an eye on the field. But what does she think about the stuff that actually does show up in the box score?
Later, the following exchange occurs between Keri and Ng:
BP: The Dodgers have had a history of drafting high school pitchers, even though they carry a much higher risk that any other player's background. In general, do you favor high school or college talent?
Ng: I'd take the best available, signable player.
The fact that high school pitchers are a risk, despite the matter-of-fact way in which Keri presents it, is still a revolutionary concept in mainstream baseball. If, by her answer, Ng is telling us that she is not worried about that risk, that she's going to support drafting the best player regardless of age, then I'd like to know why. Or, if she's defining "best" in a way that factors in that risk, some clarity on that would be worthwhile.
Above all, though, Ng seems bright, resourceful and dilligent. She is going to be a big name in this game, and it's about time we got to know her.
The East-Coast 1Bs Are Hip
I Really Dig Those Styles They Wear
Been meaning to examine the credentials of Derrek Lee and Nick Johnson, humble laborers in the Dodger rumor mill.
Derrek Lee, Florida, 1B
Salary: Eligible for salary arbitration in 2004. Earned $4.25 million in 2003.
Mainstream stats: .271 BA, 31 HR, 88 BB, 131 K
OPS in 2003: .887 in 155 games (1.062 vs. LHP, .844 vs. RHP)
EQA in 2003 (park-adjusted): .307 (22nd in National League)
Win Shares in 2003 (park-adjusted): 26 (12th in National League, 4th among 1B)
Trend: Career-high in OPS and EQA in 2003
Worth acquiring in exchange for Odalis Perez or Guillermo Mota? Yes.
Worth acquiring in exchange for Odalis Perez and Guillermo Mota? I guess, although I'm starting to get the feeling that with Paul Quantrill gone, Mota is all but off the table. Not that the Dodgers couldn't still sign Quantrill. But, I digress.
Nick Johnson, New York Yankees, 1B
Salary: Eligible for salary arbitration in 2004. Earned $364,100 in 2004
Mainstream stats: .284 BA, 14 HR, 70 BB, 57 K
OPS in 2003: .894 in 96 games (.830 vs. LHP, .911 vs. RHP)
EQA in 2003 (park-adjusted): .318 (9th in American League)
Win Shares in 2003 (park-adjusted): 14 (74th in American League, 6th among 1B)
Trend: OPS improved 145 points in 2003, EQA improved 50 points, but his career-high in games played is still only 129 (in 2002).
Worth acquiring in exchange for Odalis Perez or Guillermo Mota? Yes.
Worth acquiring in exchange for Odalis Perez and Guillermo Mota? Check with Johnson's doctor. But this is a young, affordable player on the rise.
Jim Edmonds, Carlos Lee, Paul Konerko
Magglio Ordonez, Richie Sexson
You can't say the Dodgers don't have options.
Monday, November 17, 2003
All-Time Dodger Cy Young Balloting Still Open
We've had a good turnout already, but please know that you can still vote for the all-time Dodger Cy Young of Cy Youngs. Balloting will probably end in a couple days - around Tuesday night. E-mail your vote to ShiftyJ@aol.com. Remember, your e-mail address will be safe with me - I ain't got no one to sell it to.
An Ugly Story Winds Toward Conclusion
Somewhere in the mystic and decidedly un-P.C. writings of DodgerKid, I think there might a sound theory for why former Dodger no-hit pitcher Bill Singer seemed to seek out offending Dodger assistant general manager Kim Ng - in due process torching his own career and legacy: "This was probably Bill's way of picking her up."
In other words, Singer was intoxicated in more ways than one.
Anyway, though none of the Los Angeles papers have updated the story, North Jersey.com reports that no one among those who have employed Singer for all of 11 days, the New York Mets, has "voiced much support for retaining Singer." From Bill Madden of the New York Daily News, we can add a report that "there is 'no way' the embattled scout can survive the controversy."
A guiding philosophy for Dodger Thoughts is to always try to add insight rather than report the obvious, so I don't really have much else to add here. But if you want my opinion, firing Singer seems automatic to me.
I suppose if Singer were a player, or at least a valuable one, you'd suspend him rather than fire him - and pragmatically, I can live with the double standard. As for someone who had a week-old tenure as a scout to be so irresponsible, no, I don't think there's an argument for keeping him around. The Mets have every reason to be willing to risk losing the scouting insight Singer otherwise would have provided.
I truly appreciate that Singer has apologized (even if the apology came, according to Madden, after an attempt by Singer to explain away the incident by saying that "he had been on a low-carbohydrate diet, which caused him to suffer a chemical imbalance in conjunction with drinking alcohol"). The story can end with the apology, as far as I'm concerned. I'm judgmental, but my judgment is over.
Still, I can't help suggesting that, on his own, Singer get counseling for the latent alcoholism or racism that created this mess. Not to satisfy me - I don't matter - but to make the best of a bad situation for himself.
Not Nice to Not Meet You, Frank
Frank McCourt, it's time for you to get your butt to Los Angeles.
Doesn't matter whether your purchase of the Dodgers takes 10 more minutes or 10 more months. Doesn't matter whether it's your purchase alone or you and 100 partners.
You say you're going to be the Dodgers' new boss. (You did say that, right? We didn't all just imagine it?) Fine. You've got a crowd of people here anxious to have a new boss.
Now it's time for you to get yourself in front of a camera. In front of a reporter's notebook. In front of somebody.
Or do you care even less about the Dodgers and their fans than News Corp. did?
If you intend to bring glory back to the Dodger franchise, Frank, then Step 1 is for you to come to Los Angeles and tell the people so.
If you intend to have a generous approach to payroll, then come to Los Angeles and tell the people so. If you intend to have a conservative approach to payroll, then come to Los Angeles and tell the people so.
If you intend to preserve Dodger Stadium, a high-functioning city treasure, rather than embark on a real-estate swap that will make Mayor Jim Hahn's crackpot scheme for LAX look like genius, then come to Los Angeles and tell the people so.
In the absence of such a visit, in the absence of any statements on these issues, I can only assume the worst about your intentions, Frank.
When Arte Moreno announced that he would purchase the Angels, he didn't wait for the purchase to be completed to introduce himself to the fans, to make a statement about his philosophy of ownership. Perhaps it's not a coincidence that Moreno said the kinds of things Angel fans wanted to hear. But it's not as if Moreno said that he didn't care if the Angel franchise lost money - far from it. He said he was committed to making money by building a better baseball operation, and a better baseball operation includes winning. This is near-treasonary talk in the Bud Selig woe-is-the-owner era, and was damn impressive.
It's too soon to tell whether Moreno will succeed with the Angels, but at least we believe he is trying. What are you doing, Frank? Not much, far as we can tell, except balancing your checkbook while a couple of represenatives come out here on your behalf - and themselves say nothing about the Dodgers.
What if this ownership change does drag out for months, Frank? We already know that News Corp. has given up on the team. While the team is in escrow, do you acknowledge that life goes on out here, and that there is a 2004 season to deal with? Do you just let general manager Dan Evans become the Dodger pinata while you hide away in Boston?
Make me feel bad about writing this column, Frank. Make the people of Los Angeles feel good about you.
Get yourself out here and tell us why you're buying this team.
Last Call Comes Early
In response to Monday's challenge to Frank McCourt, an e-mail thread between Dan Reines and Jon Weisman:
Dan: Jon, you said what I'd been thinking. I've got some serious doubts already.
I feel like I'm all dolled up and nursing a Manhattan at a restaurant bar, watching man after man walk through the door and wondering which one's the blind date. And it's getting late, and I've been waiting nearly an hour, and the bartender keeps asking if I want another, and I'm really starting to wonder if I've been stood up.
Frank McCourt, don't stand me up! I'm a sure thing, baby, a rebound! All you have to do is buy me dinner, open the door for me, treat me nice. All you have to do is not be Rupert Murdoch. That's it, Frank. It's so easy.
Please don't tease me, Frank. Please don't be cruel. I'm really vulnerable right now.
Jon: Thanks, Dan. I guess I'm like the jaded divorcee who is starting to think that all the good ones are taken, and the rest ain't worth even a one-night stand.
Dan: Yes. And your sister just met a really nice guy named Arte, and that hurts as much as it helps, doesn't it?
I could go on all day with this metaphor, Jon. It just feels right.
Jon: Oh, it feels right now, Dan, but what about in the morning?
Dan: Screw the morning, Jon. I'm drunk and haven't had a man in seven months.
Okay, I think I found the limit to this metaphor. Hm.
In times like this, I turn to my guiding principle: "What would Bill Singer do?"
Jon: Yeah, that pretty much kills it. Sigh.